First blog and I don't know how to begin.
I suppose I won't begin, I'll just start where I am.
There are buckets of snow outside, not just white powdery stuff, but starlets that sparkle and numb the myriads of sounds-kind of like God's peace in our lives. Lives that are complex when we dwell upon what we want, desire, long for-voices calling to us when we are found among friends, society, our culture-and we want to feed off those we are with, their responses, what they think of us, where we stand among them in status.
Yes, I'm about to make a huge metaphorical connection between nature and God, first time its ever been done I know. :-)
Experiencing God's peace has never come naturally to me, but has always been after prayer or acts of obedience to the Lord. The moments in my life that I submit myself to God in prayer and not just feel good about myself, but where I am in God's will-this is when I understand the unlimited, settling power of peace. It's when you've waited a long time, when it seems like its been forever (Wait on the Lord. Take heart have courage. Wait on the Lord, Psalm 27) that you receive God's blessing. He'll give you the desires of your heart, that for some reason you find to not to be what you always thought you desired, but know are biblical desires given to you by the Spirit.
The snow on the street is so ugly-trampled, grey, the starlets intricately made and designed by God are crumbled, soaked in oil-gunk. While we sit through our temporary, vanishing lives on earth we find ways to get soiled and trampled by those around us. It bothers me. It's starkly different than the rest of the untouched starlets, piled high, dynamically shinning.
After a snow it is calming to walk out the front door and be in awe at it all. To be still, listen, wait, smile.
I've been waiting to see where my life goes, where I will go, what I will do, who I will be with, and there is a theme that runs through it all: my desires, what I want to do.
Recently, the power of the Holy Spirit has urged me to seek out what God wants to do with my life, to change the running theme.
I went for a run in the cold a few weeks ago. It was dark outside and I just wanted to run, cry and talk to God. God pushed me forward as I stumbled through the chilled blankness and God groaned within me the understanding that my life was God's life in me, congruently striving for one goal, one desire, one longing: following Thee, following my Lord, following the one that is currently stripping me of the gunk. I just had the realization the other day that I was incredibly self-righteous within my earthly family, the most critical, legalistic, accusing, prideful, selfish, mean, one of the bunch. I'm sure we've never spoken of this before, you and I.
And yet I'm thankful to be such, as God chooses those like me who have not just some issues, but deeply rooted issues.
I guess all of the talk about the snow was an attempt at connecting to my point, that following my God has given me peace instead of confusion. I don't even know where I was fully going with the snow metaphor...so I'll just drop it.
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