Your word is a light unto my path...

Completely relaxed on my lap, head on my shoulders-Minxzy was sweaty from a long day-tired. I only hoped that my shoulder was not too bony for her to rest her head on-or for any of the other children that have piled onto my lap to sleep over the past month.
Another angry, rebellious frown from Eric in 1st grade-ugh. 1st grade is at 8am and their high activity or extreme laziness can cause one to think all is lost-but I'm learning that as a teacher you can never think all is lost-even when your ideas/ teaching methods flop.
Eric and his brother Miseal live at Casa Hogar with me. They can be smart when they want to, when they are not angry, or annoyed with life. Similarly, Minxzy is often angry about living at Casa Hogar. Anger. Why? Living with and teaching the same kids has given me an inside perspective into their true situation as "orphans" or children that have parents who choose not to keep them or cannot (and promise to eventually come and never do). I see their plight-they do not have parents or they know that their family has abandoned them and left them here. I see the blessing that the ministry of Casa Hogar and New Horizon School has been to their little lives. They have interns that come live here and love on them-they have Loolve and the few other adults that live here. But, they do not have parents like you and I-they have a lot of inner issues-anger. It carries over into their schoolwork-their attitude in the classroom. Yes, they are cute-adorable-but they carry a lot of inner turmoil.

My heart feels the depth of the hurt in these children's lives that I'm sure would have gone unnoticed (on my part) if I did not live so closely with them. I want to find loving parents for them-I want to be a parent to them-I pray that God will change their hearts so that can let go of the anger and see Jesus as one who can be their parent. Still, the scars are there, evident in how they eat up all the attention they can get (even when a crazy white gringo chica tries to hang out with them, nodding and attempting poorly pronounced Spanish) or whether they don't ever want to do their own work-lack self-confidence in the classroom.
It's unjust how family members have treated them-whether abuse-leaving them to scrounge for themselves on the streets-or just not wanting to take care of them. When the family is broken (like the rest of our world), little lives are torn apart and they react like we all do when we know we've been mistreated-we grow angry-we harbor it inside-forgiveness is beyond words-it is impossible. But, when we are forgiven by our Savior we can forgive those who have inflicted even the deepest wounds. Please pray that these children at Casa Hogar would understand-be drawn to Jesus Christ and his forgiving heart. That they will not walk paths of deep sin unattended to, but would be healed of all their brokenness.
All I can do is pray for them-allow the Lord to guide me into their lives; show them God's love.

We are not sure what is wrong with Liam-he is a preschooler that cannot remain quiet for long. They do not have testing for children here to find out their disabilities. Liam always jumps on the teachers and other children, attempted hugs, huge, boisterous hugs. He needs constant discipline-he makes teaching preschool much harder. My initial reaction to him is frustration-but God is using him to show me how to be gentle-to show Liam how to be gentle-to have patience every minute of my day. When I'm tired and don't feel like having children jump on me (when it's happened all day)-I need to be calm-loving-gentle with Liam. Ah, that I may have only words of kindness and actions that are gentle.

The night before I boarded my plane for Acapulco, my Mom gave me a gift-something I greatly treasure. A silver chain necklace with a verse on it. "Your word is a light to me path and a light to my feet" Psalm 119:105 And it has some flowers carved in around it. I never take this necklace off and the children love to touch it and stare at it when I bend over their desks to help them with their work. Today, Christy (Minxzy's older sister-4th grade) stood touching it and looking at it intently and then she ran to get a Bible. There was one that had both English and Spanish translation and she looked up the verse so she could understand what it said-for some reason it was moment I won't forget-watching little children drawn to scripture. It's truly of the Spirit.

I have the opportunity to teach swim lessons twice a month at school now! New Horizon is in an old hotel-painted-changed up a bit. But there is still a pool-small but will work to teach them the basics for freestyle-floating-kicking-stretching. I'm so excited that I get to se something I did for over 9 years-share it with the kids. I guess I'll have to bring out the old guard suite, goggles, and cap. Yay! Now my mind is floating back to countless swim practices and the lessons I taught at the YMCA in high school.

Also, I had the opportunity to meet with Pame again on Saturday. We are working on creative writing (yes and next week is poetry;)). We prayed together and then Pame shared her life story with me (and her sister Monse who lives at Casa Hogar). They have lived here for 14 years, waiting the entire time for their mother to come get them. Apparently their mother is blind and so they grew up at first with their grandma in Acapulco (originally from Mexico City)-but she neglected them and abused them. They were on the streets for awhile. Pame says that she was so angry for a long time-even at Casa Hogar. But, she is 21 now and a couple from the US is sponsoring her to attend the university so she can eventually get a job and take care of her mother. Pame is a Christian and she wants to work in missions with street children. God has changed her heart-I hope to get to know her better-encourage and uplift her (or more like visa-versa). So exciting how each week God shows me more of my purpose for being here! Even.....when I lose my debit card. True. But, I did not lose any money-Praise the Lord!

I suppose this has turned into a book again. Ah. And there is more to tell. I must get off because I am exhausted-as always when I write on here. More of school /ministry/God forming me tomorrow-so much-I need to rest. I'm really into dashes these days-haha-I always loved how Emily Dickenson used dashes....
Buenos Noches