One day

What about those days when you get up and think about your day and what you want to do with it? You have certain responsibilities but so much time in between and so many choices, ways to live your day your personal style. What about at the end of the day when you reflect back on what you did-whether you were  productive with your day? How so? Did you go a lot of places, work hard to finish a project, did you read? Did you spend time with those you loved? What about sacrifice? Did you listen to the Lords calling to sacrifice moments, hours, choices, control for His glory? Did you follow His calling to be moved by Him, directed by Him not according to what you think and want, but to what He chooses?

I spent the entire day at Casa Hogar-no school because there has been a lot of rain and so the streets are flooded. Thus, I’m called to love and spend time-to be in one place all day. Two rooms, three including the bathroom. AH! The difficulty of lifting God higher! His name higher above mine is beyond me, I call God to change my heart, to show me how through the Spirit to answer his calling to do as He wants  with my day. I analyze, question-am I doing efficient work? Am I being productive? Am I successful in my ministry here? I put far too much worth in my work, in my standard of ministry, of success. I compare what God has called me to do with my day to that which I think would be better-doing as I please with all of my time. Breaking away from my selfish habits are so difficult-being led by the Spirit is not predictable, it is not comfortable, in the eyes of so many it is not successful. But, externally it may look seem one-dimensional, but sacrificing my will for God’s is dynamic, it happens in my soul, heart, mind, is beautiful to me because God is exalted and my flesh condemned.

May the Lord take that which is in our control daily, thrust it from our greedy hands and lead us towards that which we least like, want to do. I’ve spent most of the day running to the Lord and saying, How? How do I do this? Why? Ah, Why? Why? Why? Why? I am so unable to fathom His will. But He has brought me here. There is no other place I must be. May God be praised through my life, may He us me in ways I never know and never need to know. May I trust Him. May we as Christians let go of the control and will we have, the choice we think we have to give here and there…give it all.